You Have Got To Be Kidding Me!

The lights have gone down. The movie has started or the actors are taking the stage. Cue the cell phones, candy wrappers and talkative latecomers and like me, you'll be thinking to yourself, "You Have Got To Be Kidding Me!"

Most people turn their cell phones off, open their candy as quietly as possible and plunk their buttocks in their seats before the show starts. Some people don't. Those people remain anonymous until they too venture out to the theater. A courteous society often wonders if some less than courteous people realize how rude they can be.

"I know people who are well-aware that they are being rude and just shrug their shoulders about it and say that's just who they are." Says Sarah Wesley, Staff Writer for Hartford Magazine, who is writing an article for the magazine on manners and courtesy.

Ms. Wesley and some of her colleagues were recently at Playhouse on Park to take a picture that will accompany the article. She selected Playhouse on Park because she did an article about us for Hartford Magazine several months ago and discovered that we're "So very nice and accommodating." Aww shucks (blushing)

"I thought the location would be perfect for the photo shoot we were doing for our upcoming article on manners and courtesy." Says Wesley of her choice of Playhouse on Park.

Wesley speaks of her inspiration for writing the article, "Several years ago my family and I attended a performance of the Nutcracker in Boston. The people who sat behind us talked through the whole thing and it ruined the whole experience. I was so upset at how someone could be so inconsiderate, especially when we paid so much for the tickets and couldn't wait to bring our daughters to see the ballet. It was after that, that the idea for the article took shape."

The cost of entertainment over the past several years has only gone up. In today's economy many people have scaled back their entertainment dollars. People spend their money to hear the actors speak, not the audience. With all due respect, no one cares about "Aunt Gertie" and her atrocious behavior at the family reunion.

So why has society become less polite? " I spoke to a sociologist about this very question and he told me that it was in part because we'd moved away from being a society that did things to benefit the greater good of the group to a more individualistic-minded one. I agree with him." Says Wesley. She continued by saying "I think everyone is very caught up in what is important to them and sometimes they forget that their actions have an impact on other people."

Most people won't speak up, they just grin and bear it. "I honestly don't think confronting someone about their behavior makes any difference so instead I just try to kill 'em with kindness in hopes that leading by example might help. Sometimes it works and sometimes I just end up frustrated." Wesley confesses.

Of course it's not a good idea for people to keep their frustrations bottled up, so the car ride home can be used to stand up to that obnoxious person. Your fellow theater-goers will likely find your ranting very funny and may add their own interpretation. Such an exercise should make you feel better, because you're not likely to enlighten the rude people. "I'm not sure we can." Wesley admits and provides some helpful advice. "I think we need to encourage the next generation to make better choices."

Great advice, then perhaps one day instead of saying "You Have Got To Be Kidding Me!" we'll all be saying "God bless us everyone!"

Keep an eye out for Sarah Wesley's insightful article on manners and courtesy in an upcoming issue of Hartford Magazine.