Intern Season 2: The New Philosophy

If you're new to this blog, or you want to reread the original post, I suggest you go back to July 10, 2011.  There you will see "Intern Season" post.

OR

I could just summarize it for you right here. I'm assuming you'll go with the second option. I didn't need to be a soothsayer to foretell your choice. Kudos to me for pulling the word 'soothsayer' out of my cob web-laden cranium.

Anyway, in the first post, I opined about the infestation of wide-eyed idealistic young people converging on institutions for which they someday hope to work, but for now have only studied.  The particular bee in my bonnet was how they swooped in with their unbridled enthusiasm, ruffling the feathers of us 365ers who are practiced in the art of a gradual progression. The reason being, we have a much longer sentence and if we accomplish prescribed tasks in rapid fire succession, then said tasks would become more abundant. What would not become more abundant is our cash flow...that follows its own gradual progression.

So blah blah blah, I continued my rant against the do-gooder interns and complained about having to clean the pool. You're probably asking yourselves 'Clean the pool you say, James whatever do you mean?' It'll all make sense at the end of the 4/2011 post.

Now that you know the crux of the original post, I can introduce my new philosophy.  A philosophy born from the harsh reality of my inability to prevent the interns from dropping anchor at the playhouse. Instead of pissing and moaning about the interns, I have now decided to embrace them, figuratively speaking of course. Instead of complaining about their work ethic, I have decided to exploit it. Their naivete will play right in to my hands. Mwah ah ah.

I'll unearth every fly infested pile of crap I can, top it with whipped cream and a cherry and tell them its a hot fudge sundae. They'll smile, savoring the sweet toppings until the foul aroma of these tasks wafts its way in to their unsuspecting nostrils and cements itself in to their cerebral cortex.

Behind my serious demeanor and the professional verbiage I use to stress the importance of these menial tasks, will be the little boy in me just waiting to laugh and point at their misery. Down boy, wait until after the onslaught of guilt-ridden words I use to feign my disappointment, after sensing their inevitable repulsion for the tasks at hand. 

This is a classic case of the face betrays. I'll see the disdain on their faces and hear the churning of the wheels inside their heads as they formulate reasons to shelve the tasks. Little do they know that I'll conjure up more of the same kind of tasks, this is sure to slow down even the most willing lackey.


This is a philosophy not found in a text book or talked about in a lecture, this type of malevolence is nurtured over the course of many years, years that far exceed those of your typical intern.  It's not personal, I'm sure these junior humans are nice people, I'm a nice person.


It's because I'm such a nice person that I wouldn't even contemplate undertaking such a dastardly deed.  Such evil plots will remain relegated to my brain and the occasional blog post. Boy oh boy, it sure was fun to dream. I'll go on about my business at the playhouse, mixing it up with those lovable, newly pubescent cherubs.


We all have a lot of work to do. Two more shows in our Main Stage Series: Metamorphoses and Swinging on a Star. Not to mention fine tuning our vast assortment of live entertainment for our fourth season. 

My real new philosophy, getting you and everyone you know to come see a show at Playhouse on Park.  All of our productions have been of the utmost quality.  The level of professionalism that graces our stage will astonish you. Our fourth season will be no exception.